How real walls expose unhealthy boundaries.
Questions to ask myself.
Looking at physical walls to understand the effect of our environment on how we feel and applying to our internal mental boundaries.
Observing physical walls raises questions about the rules we set ourselves.
What we create is organic and will develop beyond original intent.
Waiting Spaces.
A hospital is a good place to look at walls. The not too comfortable chairs put you at a lower level, and if you avoid the phone and coffee table magazines, there’s a lot to see whilst suspended.
You get an idea of the initial design. Whether the waiting room is intentional or a piece of sectioned off corridor. In the architectural model, what was the brief? What did the boundaries of this space enable and prevent?
A sense of calm? Easy to clean? A space where people could come and go? A chamber to hold people holding a paper ticket waiting for their lucky number? A quiet place to hope?
Did the walls keep order and/or protect? Where they designed to be light and soothing? How do you feel?
Then look for the later additions. The things that were never on the architect’s plan.
The A4 sheets of paper stuck with tape. COVID information, infographics, wet paint signs. Added pictures of watercolour flowers. Abstract but not too abstract. Something to cheer the place up but be unnoticed.
Then the unintended marks. Those which reflect the story of life. The scuff marks, chips in iron radiators where the hospital trolley manoeuvred to get in the lift. Plaster scars showing the internal wall.
What was the intention, and what do you feel?
In 1985 Paul Graham photographed the waiting rooms and corridors of Social Security & Unemployment centres in the UK. “Beyond Caring” shows the reality of waiting in a system. Clocks, ticket machines and capital letter commanding notices. DO NOT. The deliberately uncomfortable seating. The additions of a horse print, and a large technicolour alpine scene. The promise of escape in the 1980s with nostalgic rural scenes. Images to take you away from here.
The unintended marks of stubbed cigarette butts on the floor. The knocks in paintwork and scrapes from chairs pushed back against the wall. Pushed back against the do not.
Closer to home.
The walls in my house are pretty close to the original design. There is an open space in the primary room with a skylight. Light and open. The view from the window was one of the principal reasons we chose this place.
We’ve added a wall to give some privacy, and hung some pictures.
The unintended marks include a hole where we hung a Christmas present dartboard. Many Christmases ago. A grease mark where the dog lies down. It’s on my spring clean to-do list. As lockdown restrictions ease here, the dual role of my house walls as protection and confinement change.
Going large.
What can we learn from bigger walls? Border and city walls aimed to keep people in and out. The initial design of walls such as the Berlin Wall divided physically and ideologically. Peace Walls in Belfast in the late 1960s started as temporary structures, but became higher and longer.
In 2019, The New Yorker reported on research into dividing walls and how they affect our thinking. They recorded the impact of the Berlin Wall on those living near it in the 1970s. These clear physical boundaries have many subtler effects. The border checks and sense of fear and protection form a system which impacts day to day living.
Mind walls.
Looking at the physical walls around me I could see the changes from the original intent, conscious additions and unintended stories.
A design with a clear aim, and intent for how I would feel within this boundary. Protected, secure, calm, or organised. The additions were to enhance this experience or to achieve a different aim. The sense of identity, control, comfort, or escape. The unintended stories can reflect kick back, struggle, messy life, love and hope. I may not be aware of all the effects.
When reading about setting boundaries in mindset, I see phrases like:
“not being a doormat,”
“healthy boundaries.”
“appropriate.”
Applying to My Boundaries
I look at the ones I have as if they are the walls of a social security office in 1985.
* What is the original purpose?
* What did I intentionally add?
* What was unintentionally added?
* What effect is it having on me?
Repaint, repair, tear down or build?
Are these my only choices?
Maria Sokolowska is a coach, photographer and writer. She playfully explores imagery to challenge perceptions and perspectives. She uses metaphors to help understand some of the ordinary and complex ideas we have about ourselves so that we can feel understood.
Maria is a qualified ACC coach with the International Coaching Federation. The ICF defines coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximise their personal and professional potential.
Maria works with creative professionals, coaches, post-graduates, and volunteers with the Uprising UK Charity, which inspires young people from underrepresented backgrounds to move into leadership roles.
You can connect with her on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram or by following her newsletter on Substack.
